The Adventures of Two Boomer Workaholics

As I write this blog I hear what sounds like croaking frogs outside my cabin. Now I know this is not possible as we are currently sailing under an almost full moon in the middle of the Aegean sea on our way to Mykonos and Delos. Then I remember escaping this evening’s “entertainment” in the Tropical Bar, which just happens to be called “Frog Racing”. No they’re not real frogs but these flat wooden discs cut out in the shape of a frog, painted green and strung on a string. The sound I hear I am sure is the slapping of these things on the teak deck, which are just now reaching a crescendo. I had to bow out as in order to make the frogs move you have to be in a squatting position which is now impossible having spent the last two days hiking up on the islands of Samos and Patmos to look at, you guessed it, ruins, but wait, there’s more, tunnels, caves, and monasteries too! Actually, the last three days have been incredible with beautiful vistas, quaint seaside villages, and friendly villagers too. Today on the island of Patmos after a very strenuous hike up a steep cobblestone path to the Monastery of St. John, we found a treasure of a restaurant at the foot of the monastery called “Jimmy’s Balcony”. There we had the best Greek food of our trip with an incredible view of our ship, anchored way below in a majestic blue harbor. On the way out we complimented the cooks in our now practiced Greek, “poli kala” (which means very good) and the main chef turned and greeted us in unbroken, clear English and said he was from America too! After our hike back down to the harbor we snorkeled off a beach in crystal clear waters, napped among the topless sunbathers and bid a sad farewell to one of the most pleasant ports we’ve encountered so far. Tomorrow in Delos, in the AM, I’m hoping to view some magnificent Phallus statues which I’ll be sure to document with photos. I’ll post them on the blog for those who care to see. After that, we head into Mykonos late in the day, to party the night away with the beautiful people. We probably won’t get back to an internet connection for a couple of days so as the Greeks would say…….Adio!
P.S. Pete’s team won the frog race! Something else for the resume.

On Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday we successfully navigated the Acropolis, its small museum, the Parthenon, other temples, both amphitheaters (one Greek and one Roman), the national archeological museum, the Ancient Greek Agora and the Roman Agora. We also saw the Temple of Zeus from across a very busy street in central Athens. Think Clark Griswald for this one as he took in the majesty of the Grand Canyon in National Lampoon’s Family Vacation. By this time we were both completely worn out having been on our feet and constantly standing, walking and or climbing for hours every day. I for one had seen more broken stuff than I could possible comprehend. It’s kind of like when you go to one of those giant outdoor flea markets and you see parts and pieces to things you think you recognize but are never really sure. Seriously, it was incredible, but still exhausting.

Confidentially, on Friday things did begin to unravel just a bit. Everything went fine until we left the museum (after only 4 hours and 30 minutes). Phyllis and I found we could not exactly agree on how to get from where we were to where we wanted to be next, the Plaka. In our wanderings we ended up on the opposite side of the Acropolis and far from where we wanted to be. This literally involved miles of walking up and down narrow streets, back alleys and god knows where. This also involved numerous shopping side trips, with Phyllis trying on stuff, etc., while I stood by staring blankly at walls. I don’t know about Phyllis but after a while the sighing, complaining, whining, bitching and sarcasm was really getting on my nerves. Anyway, I finally stopped, and ever though we were still lost, that singular action seemed to have a dramatic effect on the mood.

Unfortunately yet another situation interrupted our ruins regalia. Phyllis developed a stomachache about 6:00 PM. Her stomach began cramping intensely across the top of her abs. Not that there is necessarily any connection, but earlier we had stopped at a rather touristy taverna in the Plaka to eat something we were promised, was Terropita. Now Terropita is a baked, approximately 6” round cheese pie made with filo pastry dough and feta cheese. What we were proudly served, was exclaimed to be homemade, the same as Terropita and one of their most sought after delicacies. What thye were was several small triangular, very flat filo and feta paddies which had been deep-fried in olive oil. Now I love olive oil, I love filo and I love feta, hell, I really liked this greasy Filo Feta thingy, but what ever it was, it was not Terropita. The oil literally squirted out of each paddy when we cut into them with our forks. Phyllis didn’t even finish hers (so I did). Besides the fried cheese thingies, we also had a poor rendition of a Greek salad, and we chased it all with some bread and water. Phyllis became certain that this much sought after, homemade, delicacy was in some way the root of her problem. At the time, I’m wondering how I could have eaten exactly same thing, actually more and felt right as rain. Trying to set aside personal suspicions as to how much she really wanted to complete our rampage of the Ruins, I set myself to the task of tying to feel empathy and indulge her theory. At this point, I really wanted to make our way to the Temple of Zeus, it was the last thing on our list, and we already had tickets. It became clear that Phyllis’s condition was going to prevent this. So I arranged a stop for rest at a café, but the symptoms only lessened and returned completely as soon as we got up to leave. As I pondered this situation, angel Pete and devil Pete were hard a work. Angel Pete finally won out convincing me that if things were reversed Phyllis would consider my discomfort and cut things short, besides I knew we were going to be spending a lot of time together. So I accepted this was the right thing to do, even though I had spent all that time shopping and being lost because of her; time that could have been spent seeing the Temple of Zeus for example. I mean since it won’t happen anyway I’ll tell you I had a great gag picture planned of me looking like I had just knocked over one of the pillars. It would have been hilarious. Anyway, like I said, we cut our sight seeing short and returned to the hotel. While in no way do I confuse my actions with genuine compassion, it did, basically, accomplish the same results, so I’m taking the credit. Phyllis had fully recovered without further incident by the next morning. As she is fond of saying, “it’s progress not perfection, baby”. A motto I try to live by. At least when it suits me.

P.S.
The next day was Saturday. We visited the Roman and Greek Agora and of course did some more shopping. That afternoon, we made our way by taxi to Piraeus. Signed in and boarded our stately vessel the Star Flyer.

Well this is a bit late Internet challenges, etc. Today is Monday the 28th and we are in Kudashi, Turkey (something like that). So this update is a bit dated, but it’s all Phyllis will let me do for now. Something about wanting to eat dinner. Oh yeah, we now own a really nice Turkish arrreeea gerrrruuuug.

Okay, as of Friday May 25th Stamatis had left for Kimi and we were completely on our own for the first time since we had arrived in Greece. Dhen Perazee (No problem), thanks to listening to a Greek language CD practically everyday for the last two months I had learned quite a few words. I didn’t have any idea on how to string them together exactly, but I could say a few phrases such as Eeme Hasee (I’m lost), Polee Akreevo (to expensive), simbo lenvonodae tatehera (is the tip included), Pooeene Toiletes (where is the toilet). Surprisingly that last came in the handiest. An important travel tip: Getting to a bathroom quickly is very important when you consume lots of olive oil and beverages. On that topic, I must comment on the Greek public bathrooms. When I left Greece in 1963 a public restroom, especially in a taverna or restaurant generally consisted of a lean-to attachment. It was a foul smelling afterthought, without running water and unlit, it consisted of four walls and a floor, usually concrete, with a hole in it. Toilet paper? And that was the ladies room. The men just went out back in the alley. Let’s just say that in 44 years there have been considerable improvements and from a standpoint of condition and cleanliness the public facilities in the states could learn a thing or two from the Greeks. With modern plumbing and self activating lighting my public bathroom experiences were hygienic, pleasant and even attractive.
My last topic is actually a pretty good segue to my next topic, male genitalia as it relates to ancient Greek statuary. Ladies this is for men only so read no further. If the phrase “To much information” means anything to you then go on to the next segment.

Okay guys hopefully we’re alone. The last few days after having wandered past hundreds of recovered artifacts and in particular the amazingly life like marble and bronze statues, it hit me like lightening that those ancient Greek statue makers were more than just gifted artisans. Those guys new the value of misleading advertising and somehow worked it into a conspiracy lasting centuries and possibly millennia. I’ve never seen this in print before so up until now I can only assume it’s been lost to antiquity or such a closely guarded secret that it’s been completely withheld. I’ve even debated over my right to reveal it. I mean when it hit me I was dumbfounded by the simple genius of what these guys perpetrated for hundreds and maybe even thousands of years. Look, I’m sorry to drag this out and I promise I’m working toward a point. First, allow me to lay some factual groundwork. I believe to do so will lend credence and give my discovery the relevance it deserves.
Fact: Obviously, the Greek god’s and goddess’s statues were made for the adulations of the populace.
Fact: They were part of the majority’s belief system and had a places of honor in all of the temples and customary places of worship.
Fact: The statues of the goddesses portrayed them with rare beauty and usually completely clothed; however, the statues of the gods although handsome and muscular were usually completely naked.
Fact: While the gods held a sword, Trident, shield, etc. none of these items offered much in the way of privacy.
Fact: The goddesses typically were depicted much more modestly, usually with full-length robes and gowns except for occasionally exposing nicely shaped buttocks, and possibly a single nicely shaped, perky boob.
Fact: The male gods have everything hanging out. No modesty for these guys, I mean they were gods after all, with chiseled well defined muscular bodies god like in EVERY WAY right…?

Err, me no think so. I mean take a look. Just look at the pictures and I promise this is a fair representation of what I saw every day and everywhere. These god statues will make even the most insecure of us feel better. These totally built, Adonis like, bodies all have the pee-pee of a three year old. So finally, I can get to my point. Who made the statues, men right? Ah, but who is looking at the statues, everybody and especially the women, get it! Okay, if you are still a little lost don’t worry. Just review the pictures and here’s the whole enchilada.

The way I see it ancient guys didn’t catch a lot of breaks I mean most of them did not have status, i.e. nobility, wealthy, high government positions. So that meant they were slaves, surfs, soldiers, tradesman or minor bureaucrats. In other words, they were hard working and trying to make ends meet. They were probably not even that well fed so the physique while not over weight was probably not Herculean either. Maybe from the ladies’ point of view not a terrific prospect. But, there also wasn’t mass media with the exception of statues. No printing press, no photography, no movies, no TV! That means no well photographed and publicized celebrities e.g. The Chippendales, male porn stars, etc.. Women saw statues of gods, and those nice muscular gods, had really small wieners. Now even though the guy they were married to smelled like fish, manure, broke rocks, drug rocks chipped rocks or wrote on papyrus scrolls, day in and day out he still had something going for him that even Zeus couldn’t boast. A pretty good sized (by comparison) shlong. And that’s why in spite of plague, poverty and mass un-enlightenment men named it the golden age!

Okay, we're onboard I'm hoping this update makes it. I'll do more later if possible. We are having a very good time. The Star Flyer is very nice. I hope to upload pictures.

Stamatis picked us up at 10:30 AM and we headed to Glyfada to see if the Hotel Rial, where fortune brought us together 44 years ago, was still there. At that time Stamatis, still in his teens, was the night clerk as he attended university during the day. My brother Michael and I shared a room and my parents shared another next to it. We were not far from the lobby. As Stamatis tells it, it was after mid night and he heard rather scuffling, loud laughter and giggling coming from our room. Worrying that it would disturb the other guests he came to our door and asked us nicely to quiet down. Simple as his request may have seemed to him there was a small but daunting problem. We had just flown to Greece from California and there was a 10-hour time difference. As far as our bodies were concerned, it was 12 noon not mid night. Stamatis ended up entertaining us for several nights until our sleep patterns synced up to our new time zone. My parents were very grateful and thought Stamatis was great. An uncommonly lasting friendship was born.

Today being Thursday meant that Stamatis could not drive through the city since in Athens the number on your license plate regulates which days you can drive in the city center. Actually, it worked out well because we had a very pretty drive around the city to Glyfada. When we got to Glyfada we took the King George Highway which is the road that ran in front of the Hotel Rial. He had not been back to look for it since he had stopped working there shortly after that. Since that time the two lane road had been widened and there were tall Eucalyptus trees in the median separating the outgoing and incoming lanes. We were on the outgoing side (heading away from Athens) and the hotel would be on the incoming side. Stamatis sensing he was close, needed to get to the other side. The problem appeared to be the “No U-turn” signs, but I’ve learned in Greece those are merely suggestions. We made the U-turn and went half a block, even after 44 years, I immediately recognized the hotel. Interestingly although it is still the Rial, it now serves a new purpose, Home for the Elderly. No wise cracks!

After experiencing our moment we visited a shopping plaza and where Stamatis treated us to café and then to a delicious lunch, of meatballs, fried potatoes and Greek salad, at the famous George’s Steak House.
I ate in this same restaurant, as boy the only difference was that it is much bigger and nicer now.

Following lunch Stamatis drove us back to our hotel. He was going on to Kimi. Phyllis and I walked up to a local mini mart and picked up a liter bottle of Coke Light and Liter bottle of Mineral water. We returned to hotel to chill, eat snacks and watch a movie. Tomorrow we intend to hit a museum or two and shop for the grand kids.