Turkey

After our swim stop in Camliami we pulled anchor and sailed just around the point to Kusadasi. Honestly, I’m still not sure why they do it this way, but I’m suspecting it has to do with tour schedules etc. In this port we actually docked at a pier. I mention this because besides Piraeus, we anchored in the harbor and took tenders to shore in every other port. As soon as the ship was tied up it was time to go ashore for our first excursion. This was billed as a four-hour event including a guided archeological tour of the ruins at Ephesus followed by an education tour on Turkish rug weaving. Ephesus, I learned was the home of the Ephesians as in the Letters to …, in the New Testament. You may already know this, but I had no idea until the tour guide mentioned the connection. Anyway, there we stood, looking at a city that was a prospering seaport even thousands of years before Christ. The excavated area is immense. The amphitheater alone seated 24,000 and the population of Ephesus at its height was reportedly 250,000. The public buildings, temples, and commerce areas alone were really something, truly spectacular, but then there are the terrace houses.

On this entire trip, if I had only seen the terrace houses of Ephesus, I would have been awed beyond measure. The terrace houses are so named because they were build on the sides of hills by terracing the landscape. It is impossible to properly describe the emotion I felt as I walked through homes that were literally in use at least two thousand years ago. It gave me a entirely new appreciation for the level of civilization, accomplishment and sophistication this fragment of mankind had achieved by that time. For instance, would you believe central heat, hot water, running water, and indoor plumbing? I want to make it clear that these were the houses of obviously well off people. The square footage alone, of these homes, was impressive. The first home was approximately four thousand square feet of living space. The other was nearly as large. What makes the terrace houses of Ephesus so special is their extraordinary condition and level of preservation. The Turkish Government is doing a superb job of excavating, reassembling, and restoring these ancient domiciles. It would all be for not however, if it were not for the amazing scaffolding, roof canopies, and louvered wall systems that cover and surround the dig, protecting it from the elements. A German company has made this impressive protection, possible. They contributed and organized other mostly European sponsors, to pay for and provide this five million dollar weather shield. I say mostly European, because I did see there was a lone U.S. contributor, VA Tech. Other terrace houses, which were excavated prior to this shield, became completely eroded by the weather and were lost forever.

As I mentioned these houses were even centrally heated, and had hot water. The Ephesians accomplished this with a system of both clay and even metal pipes. The homes had marble and mosaic floors, and both marble and plaster walls. The walls were decorated with Frescos and faux marble finishes. I hope the pictures upload and somewhat portray what I have described.

As impressive, as this portion of the tour was it was only the first two hours of our excursion. Naturally, there was driving time and when we left Ephesus we ran a gauntlet of the small merchants in a market set up just outside the ruins. Lets, just say that the Turks take selling their wares very seriously. By comparison, we found the Greek merchants far less pushy. Once we were back on the bus we went to learn about rug making. I have to admit I never saw this one coming in spite of all the obvious signals, such as the tour guide referring several times to the dying art of Turkish rug weaving. When we entered the “Rug Museum” we were first led into a small room and shown how silk threads were removed from the cocoons. Following that, we were escorted in to a long narrow room. There were many rugs both hanging on the walls and rolled up standing on end against the walls. Near a low doorway there was a small loom was set up. A young woman in her late twenties to early thirties was demonstrating knotting and weaving techniques, etc.

She was amazingly fast. She had to slow way down just so we could see how she was doing it. Our new host answered questions from his audience and then the young woman left us. Now we were as shown seats along the wall and offered refreshments as our host began to explain the “knotting process and types of fibers used and how the quality each rug was decided.

Several more men appeared and rugs began to be unfurled on the floor before us. At this point for me at least the handwriting was on the wall. Under the pretext of explaining “double knotting”, knots per square inch, wool on wool, wool on cotton, cotton on cotton, and silk on silk, blends, etc., rug after arrggeeea rrgguug was displayed before us. Each time came the invitation to touch, feel, walk on, etc.. Oh yes, as I mentioned, just prior to our “instruction” they offered everyone a hospitality drink, which ranged from harmless apple tea to a 40 proof anisette like liqueur. Naturally, the rugs were magnificent, but it also became clear this education that was not going for the simple joy of learning. Long story short we now own a verry nizze 10’ x 7.5’ arrggeea rrgguug. It is to be delivered, to our door, in 6 to 8 weeks, and you are welcomed to drop in a see it. I believe we’ll be serving apple tea.

Just about everyone in our tour group became a proud owner of one variety of rug or another that afternoon. Based on this experience I suggested some changes to the cruise folks. First, I told them they should rename this tour to “The we’re going to show you some nice ruins right before we sell you a new arrggeea rrgguug”. Secondly, I suggested they throw in the tour as charging us for them really adds insult to injury!

Admittedly, it would appear that we’ve been pretty remiss in a decent accounting of the seafaring portion of our adventure. I hope to get that part straightened out starting now.

Having set sail from Piraeus Saturday night. At 0730 Sunday morning, we dropped anchor off shore from Camliami, Turkey. This was a swimming and water sport stop that would last until noon; after that we would sail around the bend to Kusadasi. At about 9:00 AM we took a tender from the ship to a pier next to the beach. The plan was to do some snorkeling along a rocky portion of the coastline. Leaving the tender we made our way to a beach near the snorkeling area.

Tut ta da daaa… TOPLESS ALERT!

At exactly 0930 I had my first bare breasted woman sighting. At that point, I had to honestly reconsider my options. I mean snorkeling is fun, but I’ve been snorkeling dozens of times, bare breast gazing, never. Also, I discovered even though European women think nothing of sunbathing topless, for some inexplicable reason, they feel compelled to put their tops back on when they enter the water. If only it was otherwise one could still snorkel and enjoy the best of both worlds. Oh well, life is seldom that simple. So, where was I, oh yes, staring at a women’s bare breasts, very tanned and rising like twin peaks as she lay on her back on a beach chair. Per Phyllis, the breast’s owner had had some work done due to their unnatural perkiness. By this point, I had lost all interest in snorkeling. However, after a few minutes Phyllis scolded me saying that I could not just stand there staring. So, after pretending to adjust a beach chair for a minute or two, allowing me a few more surreptitious peeks and side glances, I begrudgingly entered the water to do some snorkeling.

As it turned out, snorkeling in Camlaimi was actually a bit frightening. Allow me to explain. You see the coastline was extremely rocky. I’m talking jagged boulders rocky. This is normally very good for snorkeling. Lots of plant and animal life like to grow on the rocks beneath the water making them an excellent habitat for fish etc.. Do to the clarity of the water this was absolutely the case here. The water was a bit choppy, but because it was so clear, it was easy to see from the surface that there was an abundance of sea life below. Though distorted by the small swells and I could make out the rocks, sea grass, fish, etc.. I could also make out many black growths on all of the rocks. I waded out into the water, through the rocks with flippers on (picture, a drunk duck). I did my best to hold back shrieks as I adjusted to the water temperature, which was cool to put it mildly. When I was in a place where I could put my face in the water I slipped on my mask and lowered my head into the water, allowing myself for the first time, to clearly see the underwater sea life. I was looking outward at first and saw a whole school of shiny silver minnows, swimming amongst the sea grass, as I turned toward shore I could see a fur like growth on the rocks and then I could see the black spots clearly. Attached to the furry rocks were THOUSANDS OF SEA URCHINS. I felt as though I was in a bizarre sci-fi horror movie. I was literally surrounded and to make it worst I had to go back though them to get out of the water.

Since, I’m not sure everyone knows what a sea urchin is, I’ll do my best to describe one. Picture a tennis ball sized creature clinging to the rocks beneath the water. Now picture it completely covered with hundreds of sharp, black, sewing needle size quills. Now understand that all the quills are barbed at their tip. The bottom line here is, if you are unlucky enough to touch or bump a Sea Urchin it does not just end with a prick, it hooks into your flesh and is very painful to remove.

Okay, hopefully, I have given you a clear picture of the Sea Urchin. Now imagine you are in the water, being pushed around by the waves, next to and just inches above rocks covered with hundreds of Sea Urchins! I’m not sure how, but I think I walked on water that day and with flippers on to boot. So, that was my brief snorkeling experience in Camliami. I know I can be a bit slow on the uptake, but even I recognized the benefit of topless beach peeping and wrath of Phyllis, over certain impalement and possible death by sea urchins.

P.S. Nude Beach alert! We’re in Sifnos as I write this. Apparently, the beach was clothing optional. Phyllis captured the action on film! Check out “Sizzling Sifnos”.

Well this is a bit late Internet challenges, etc. Today is Monday the 28th and we are in Kudashi, Turkey (something like that). So this update is a bit dated, but it’s all Phyllis will let me do for now. Something about wanting to eat dinner. Oh yeah, we now own a really nice Turkish arrreeea gerrrruuuug.

Okay, as of Friday May 25th Stamatis had left for Kimi and we were completely on our own for the first time since we had arrived in Greece. Dhen Perazee (No problem), thanks to listening to a Greek language CD practically everyday for the last two months I had learned quite a few words. I didn’t have any idea on how to string them together exactly, but I could say a few phrases such as Eeme Hasee (I’m lost), Polee Akreevo (to expensive), simbo lenvonodae tatehera (is the tip included), Pooeene Toiletes (where is the toilet). Surprisingly that last came in the handiest. An important travel tip: Getting to a bathroom quickly is very important when you consume lots of olive oil and beverages. On that topic, I must comment on the Greek public bathrooms. When I left Greece in 1963 a public restroom, especially in a taverna or restaurant generally consisted of a lean-to attachment. It was a foul smelling afterthought, without running water and unlit, it consisted of four walls and a floor, usually concrete, with a hole in it. Toilet paper? And that was the ladies room. The men just went out back in the alley. Let’s just say that in 44 years there have been considerable improvements and from a standpoint of condition and cleanliness the public facilities in the states could learn a thing or two from the Greeks. With modern plumbing and self activating lighting my public bathroom experiences were hygienic, pleasant and even attractive.
My last topic is actually a pretty good segue to my next topic, male genitalia as it relates to ancient Greek statuary. Ladies this is for men only so read no further. If the phrase “To much information” means anything to you then go on to the next segment.

Okay guys hopefully we’re alone. The last few days after having wandered past hundreds of recovered artifacts and in particular the amazingly life like marble and bronze statues, it hit me like lightening that those ancient Greek statue makers were more than just gifted artisans. Those guys new the value of misleading advertising and somehow worked it into a conspiracy lasting centuries and possibly millennia. I’ve never seen this in print before so up until now I can only assume it’s been lost to antiquity or such a closely guarded secret that it’s been completely withheld. I’ve even debated over my right to reveal it. I mean when it hit me I was dumbfounded by the simple genius of what these guys perpetrated for hundreds and maybe even thousands of years. Look, I’m sorry to drag this out and I promise I’m working toward a point. First, allow me to lay some factual groundwork. I believe to do so will lend credence and give my discovery the relevance it deserves.
Fact: Obviously, the Greek god’s and goddess’s statues were made for the adulations of the populace.
Fact: They were part of the majority’s belief system and had a places of honor in all of the temples and customary places of worship.
Fact: The statues of the goddesses portrayed them with rare beauty and usually completely clothed; however, the statues of the gods although handsome and muscular were usually completely naked.
Fact: While the gods held a sword, Trident, shield, etc. none of these items offered much in the way of privacy.
Fact: The goddesses typically were depicted much more modestly, usually with full-length robes and gowns except for occasionally exposing nicely shaped buttocks, and possibly a single nicely shaped, perky boob.
Fact: The male gods have everything hanging out. No modesty for these guys, I mean they were gods after all, with chiseled well defined muscular bodies god like in EVERY WAY right…?

Err, me no think so. I mean take a look. Just look at the pictures and I promise this is a fair representation of what I saw every day and everywhere. These god statues will make even the most insecure of us feel better. These totally built, Adonis like, bodies all have the pee-pee of a three year old. So finally, I can get to my point. Who made the statues, men right? Ah, but who is looking at the statues, everybody and especially the women, get it! Okay, if you are still a little lost don’t worry. Just review the pictures and here’s the whole enchilada.

The way I see it ancient guys didn’t catch a lot of breaks I mean most of them did not have status, i.e. nobility, wealthy, high government positions. So that meant they were slaves, surfs, soldiers, tradesman or minor bureaucrats. In other words, they were hard working and trying to make ends meet. They were probably not even that well fed so the physique while not over weight was probably not Herculean either. Maybe from the ladies’ point of view not a terrific prospect. But, there also wasn’t mass media with the exception of statues. No printing press, no photography, no movies, no TV! That means no well photographed and publicized celebrities e.g. The Chippendales, male porn stars, etc.. Women saw statues of gods, and those nice muscular gods, had really small wieners. Now even though the guy they were married to smelled like fish, manure, broke rocks, drug rocks chipped rocks or wrote on papyrus scrolls, day in and day out he still had something going for him that even Zeus couldn’t boast. A pretty good sized (by comparison) shlong. And that’s why in spite of plague, poverty and mass un-enlightenment men named it the golden age!