The Adventures of Two Boomer Workaholics

Admittedly, it would appear that we’ve been pretty remiss in a decent accounting of the seafaring portion of our adventure. I hope to get that part straightened out starting now.

Having set sail from Piraeus Saturday night. At 0730 Sunday morning, we dropped anchor off shore from Camliami, Turkey. This was a swimming and water sport stop that would last until noon; after that we would sail around the bend to Kusadasi. At about 9:00 AM we took a tender from the ship to a pier next to the beach. The plan was to do some snorkeling along a rocky portion of the coastline. Leaving the tender we made our way to a beach near the snorkeling area.

Tut ta da daaa… TOPLESS ALERT!

At exactly 0930 I had my first bare breasted woman sighting. At that point, I had to honestly reconsider my options. I mean snorkeling is fun, but I’ve been snorkeling dozens of times, bare breast gazing, never. Also, I discovered even though European women think nothing of sunbathing topless, for some inexplicable reason, they feel compelled to put their tops back on when they enter the water. If only it was otherwise one could still snorkel and enjoy the best of both worlds. Oh well, life is seldom that simple. So, where was I, oh yes, staring at a women’s bare breasts, very tanned and rising like twin peaks as she lay on her back on a beach chair. Per Phyllis, the breast’s owner had had some work done due to their unnatural perkiness. By this point, I had lost all interest in snorkeling. However, after a few minutes Phyllis scolded me saying that I could not just stand there staring. So, after pretending to adjust a beach chair for a minute or two, allowing me a few more surreptitious peeks and side glances, I begrudgingly entered the water to do some snorkeling.

As it turned out, snorkeling in Camlaimi was actually a bit frightening. Allow me to explain. You see the coastline was extremely rocky. I’m talking jagged boulders rocky. This is normally very good for snorkeling. Lots of plant and animal life like to grow on the rocks beneath the water making them an excellent habitat for fish etc.. Do to the clarity of the water this was absolutely the case here. The water was a bit choppy, but because it was so clear, it was easy to see from the surface that there was an abundance of sea life below. Though distorted by the small swells and I could make out the rocks, sea grass, fish, etc.. I could also make out many black growths on all of the rocks. I waded out into the water, through the rocks with flippers on (picture, a drunk duck). I did my best to hold back shrieks as I adjusted to the water temperature, which was cool to put it mildly. When I was in a place where I could put my face in the water I slipped on my mask and lowered my head into the water, allowing myself for the first time, to clearly see the underwater sea life. I was looking outward at first and saw a whole school of shiny silver minnows, swimming amongst the sea grass, as I turned toward shore I could see a fur like growth on the rocks and then I could see the black spots clearly. Attached to the furry rocks were THOUSANDS OF SEA URCHINS. I felt as though I was in a bizarre sci-fi horror movie. I was literally surrounded and to make it worst I had to go back though them to get out of the water.

Since, I’m not sure everyone knows what a sea urchin is, I’ll do my best to describe one. Picture a tennis ball sized creature clinging to the rocks beneath the water. Now picture it completely covered with hundreds of sharp, black, sewing needle size quills. Now understand that all the quills are barbed at their tip. The bottom line here is, if you are unlucky enough to touch or bump a Sea Urchin it does not just end with a prick, it hooks into your flesh and is very painful to remove.

Okay, hopefully, I have given you a clear picture of the Sea Urchin. Now imagine you are in the water, being pushed around by the waves, next to and just inches above rocks covered with hundreds of Sea Urchins! I’m not sure how, but I think I walked on water that day and with flippers on to boot. So, that was my brief snorkeling experience in Camliami. I know I can be a bit slow on the uptake, but even I recognized the benefit of topless beach peeping and wrath of Phyllis, over certain impalement and possible death by sea urchins.

P.S. Nude Beach alert! We’re in Sifnos as I write this. Apparently, the beach was clothing optional. Phyllis captured the action on film! Check out “Sizzling Sifnos”.